blaah
So I guess after the last blog post, yesterday was pretty predictable.
Yesterday was sort of hellish. Homesickness, tears, etc, etc. etc.
I don't particularly want to dwell on it because it wasn't a very good chapter in my life. It all kinda clicked early in the morning, when I was sort of half told off by a student teacher for a simple mistake. I apologised, but she still kept going on at me. And just like that, I wanted to scream. I managed to hold back the tears and tantrums through a couple of presentations, but when lunch time came and I went, as usual, to my little office (which is just off the classroom I'll be working in), every emotion that I've sort of pushed to the side for the past two weeks kind of just exploded out in tears that didn't really want to stop. So I did what any one should do in that situation, I skyped my best friend. Chris, however, is not having the best of times on his year abroad either, so we sat, 3400 miles apart, crying about our own woeful tales. Conversation was not really flowing, most of the noise was me sniffling and Chris typing furiously, not wanting to be overheard by his host family saying he wants to live elsewhere (nothing against them, he's just a million miles away from normal life).
So why the tears? Work is not the way I thought it'd be, and frankly I'm sick of being ignored/perceived as a massive inconvenience by my colleagues. Yesterday a teacher said something to me in the corridor in French, which I didn't hear - she then repeated it three times, and when I still didn't understand, instead of, you know, rationally rephrasing it, she shook her head, and closed the door she was standing in, laughing as she went. Mmm, yeah, really feel welcome.
The thing is, when I'm not at work, I'm having a really good time. Even after yesterday's debacle, I came home and sat around watching stupid youtube videos and eating crisps, tzatziki and chocolate with Alice until far too late, considering I had school this morning. We both ended up crying laughing, proper good, old-fashioned, belly-ache-inducing laughter. I couldn't believe how much I'd cheered up.
This morning though, waking up for work, I genuinely felt queasy. I really didn't want to go - even just for one class. I forced myself to get out of bed, and it turned out to be a class I'd already met briefly. They're the youngest kids in the school, but they're so enthusiastic and when I did my presentation, they all seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. At the end of class, they played that game when you stick a noun on your forehead and you have to ask yes/no questions to the class until you get it. It was clearly a lot of fun for them, and when I start my job properly, most of it will be playing games like that to encourage them to speak as much English as possible. The thing is, I'm still 8 days away from starting my job properly, and at the moment I just feel a bit surplus to requirements.
But whatever, that's enough depressing talk. I have three classes tomorrow to introduce myself to, then after that, I'm outskiiiiii for three whole days. Nice long weekend, out on Friday night with some of the assistants - can't wait to experience some of the nightlife of Quebec. Not, from what I've heard anyway, that there's much to experience. I'll make do.
Today, after my one class, Alice showed me where to get my national insurance number. I attempted to speak in French, but it's a national office, so when I was struggling to remember my post code (yeah I know, ten years of French and I still screw up over letters lol), the woman asked (a little too abruptly if you ask me, but live and let live) if English was better for me, so I said yes. She then requested an English appointment for me, and told me it'd be like half an hour. I got called over an hour later - after at least two people who'd arrived after me had been seen. And then the guy started speaking to me in French. Thankfully I understood everything, and I even managed to small talk over the minor issue when I couldn't make my phone work. Whilst I'm sure he'd merely missed the fine print of 'English preferred language' in my appointment referral, it kinda fits in with the atmosphere of Quebec City - they're so proud of their French language, they're not really huge on speaking English.
Really I'm feeling a lot better today than yesterday, though I still wish things, work-wise, were different. I'm sick of writing really sad blog entries - so yes, whilst I'm not sat here buzzing off my face, I'm not crying my eyes out either. It's just about focussing on all the good stuff that's going on, and just dealing with crap that gets shoved my way. I'm going to leave it there cos I can already feel myself rambling, plus How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days is on, and is demanding my attention. I'm sure my next blog post will be filled with more optimism, yeyyyyyyyyyy. :)
Yesterday was sort of hellish. Homesickness, tears, etc, etc. etc.
I don't particularly want to dwell on it because it wasn't a very good chapter in my life. It all kinda clicked early in the morning, when I was sort of half told off by a student teacher for a simple mistake. I apologised, but she still kept going on at me. And just like that, I wanted to scream. I managed to hold back the tears and tantrums through a couple of presentations, but when lunch time came and I went, as usual, to my little office (which is just off the classroom I'll be working in), every emotion that I've sort of pushed to the side for the past two weeks kind of just exploded out in tears that didn't really want to stop. So I did what any one should do in that situation, I skyped my best friend. Chris, however, is not having the best of times on his year abroad either, so we sat, 3400 miles apart, crying about our own woeful tales. Conversation was not really flowing, most of the noise was me sniffling and Chris typing furiously, not wanting to be overheard by his host family saying he wants to live elsewhere (nothing against them, he's just a million miles away from normal life).
So why the tears? Work is not the way I thought it'd be, and frankly I'm sick of being ignored/perceived as a massive inconvenience by my colleagues. Yesterday a teacher said something to me in the corridor in French, which I didn't hear - she then repeated it three times, and when I still didn't understand, instead of, you know, rationally rephrasing it, she shook her head, and closed the door she was standing in, laughing as she went. Mmm, yeah, really feel welcome.
The thing is, when I'm not at work, I'm having a really good time. Even after yesterday's debacle, I came home and sat around watching stupid youtube videos and eating crisps, tzatziki and chocolate with Alice until far too late, considering I had school this morning. We both ended up crying laughing, proper good, old-fashioned, belly-ache-inducing laughter. I couldn't believe how much I'd cheered up.
This morning though, waking up for work, I genuinely felt queasy. I really didn't want to go - even just for one class. I forced myself to get out of bed, and it turned out to be a class I'd already met briefly. They're the youngest kids in the school, but they're so enthusiastic and when I did my presentation, they all seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying. At the end of class, they played that game when you stick a noun on your forehead and you have to ask yes/no questions to the class until you get it. It was clearly a lot of fun for them, and when I start my job properly, most of it will be playing games like that to encourage them to speak as much English as possible. The thing is, I'm still 8 days away from starting my job properly, and at the moment I just feel a bit surplus to requirements.
But whatever, that's enough depressing talk. I have three classes tomorrow to introduce myself to, then after that, I'm outskiiiiii for three whole days. Nice long weekend, out on Friday night with some of the assistants - can't wait to experience some of the nightlife of Quebec. Not, from what I've heard anyway, that there's much to experience. I'll make do.
Today, after my one class, Alice showed me where to get my national insurance number. I attempted to speak in French, but it's a national office, so when I was struggling to remember my post code (yeah I know, ten years of French and I still screw up over letters lol), the woman asked (a little too abruptly if you ask me, but live and let live) if English was better for me, so I said yes. She then requested an English appointment for me, and told me it'd be like half an hour. I got called over an hour later - after at least two people who'd arrived after me had been seen. And then the guy started speaking to me in French. Thankfully I understood everything, and I even managed to small talk over the minor issue when I couldn't make my phone work. Whilst I'm sure he'd merely missed the fine print of 'English preferred language' in my appointment referral, it kinda fits in with the atmosphere of Quebec City - they're so proud of their French language, they're not really huge on speaking English.
Really I'm feeling a lot better today than yesterday, though I still wish things, work-wise, were different. I'm sick of writing really sad blog entries - so yes, whilst I'm not sat here buzzing off my face, I'm not crying my eyes out either. It's just about focussing on all the good stuff that's going on, and just dealing with crap that gets shoved my way. I'm going to leave it there cos I can already feel myself rambling, plus How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days is on, and is demanding my attention. I'm sure my next blog post will be filled with more optimism, yeyyyyyyyyyy. :)
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